Humorists Who Love Economy Jokes Gifts

'I just got a profit warning from my blood circulation!'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

Trickledown economics

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

Office of economic forecasting.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'We buy and sell them.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

Government Handouts.

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

First Market Decline

Inflating assets to get a loan. Too poor to pay taxes

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

We've been pre-approved by the credit card company to give them a loan.

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

Thanks to his stocks, Bob now lives in the middle of a great green garden outside the crowded city.

"These days, many people can only afford to drink from home."

Office of Management & Budget. Now hiring: crowdfunding expert to reduce the U.S. budget deficit.

'Sorry about the mess -- I've been slashing the Federal budget.'

"Since it cost as much as our house, can we take out a mortgage instead of a loan?"

Sign - 'Warning: Government Spending Objectives Are Larger Than They Actually Appear.'