Lovers Of Economic Humor Gifts

Teddy's teacher wants to see us. She says he made disturbing comments in class. Odd. It's not like him. Tree's Trees. I don't know how to break this to you, but

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

Trickledown economics

Office of economic forecasting.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

'We buy and sell them.'

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'He's known for his pessimistic prognostications on the stock market.'

'I'm balancing the books...you are out'

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

Inflating assets to get a loan. Too poor to pay taxes

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

Government Handouts.

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

First Market Decline

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

We've been pre-approved by the credit card company to give them a loan.

Thanks to his stocks, Bob now lives in the middle of a great green garden outside the crowded city.

"Since it cost as much as our house, can we take out a mortgage instead of a loan?"

'Sorry about the mess -- I've been slashing the Federal budget.'

Leprechaun finds EU bail out at the end of a rainbow.