Economic Humor Lovers Gifts

'They're bored in kitchenware------they must be quiet too'

Downsizing.

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

Trickledown economics

Office of economic forecasting.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

'We buy and sell them.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

Government Handouts.

We've been pre-approved by the credit card company to give them a loan.

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

Inflating assets to get a loan. Too poor to pay taxes

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

Life plan

'He's known for his pessimistic prognostications on the stock market.'

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

Thanks to his stocks, Bob now lives in the middle of a great green garden outside the crowded city.

"Since it cost as much as our house, can we take out a mortgage instead of a loan?"