Economy Humorist Gifts

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"Is that a fixed-rate scowl or is it adjustable to the current interest rate?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

Department of Commerce, Economic Forecasting, Division of Estimates & Alibis

'You used to be an investment consultant, Fred -- what should I do with this quarter I found?'

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

Bank teller says: 'Wouldn't it be great if all this money was real?'

"With the downturn in your housing market Earth Scum! We would like to buy your planet!"

"Due to the high electricity price, you'll have to pay a 25 bucks deductible. As you will understand, I'd like to have it in advance."

"With these electricity prices we can't afford cooking anymore. Imagine eating sausage-favored popsicles."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

Trickledown economics

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

Office of economic forecasting.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

'We buy and sell them.'

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

'He's known for his pessimistic prognostications on the stock market.'

Government Handouts.

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

Inflating assets to get a loan. Too poor to pay taxes

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'