Humorist Economist Gifts

'Government economists said today's stock market drop was due to 'normal gravitational forces'.'

'Today, a downturn in 'social conscience' stocks on news that 'nice guys finish last'.'

"I can help you with stock downturns. I'm the blueprint of irrational exuberance."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

Trickledown economics

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

The Decline of the Euro.

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

Office of economic forecasting.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

Corporations will have to earn this tax cut one dollar at a time!

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'We buy and sell them.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

'You'll be happy to know there's nothing wrong with you. That will be four thousand, three hundred and eighty two dollars.'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

Inflating assets to get a loan. Too poor to pay taxes

Protesting man's sign reveals that his credit has run out.

Investments: Still Open to New Investors - 'A fool & his money fund.'