Humorist Economist Pillows

'Government economists said today's stock market drop was due to 'normal gravitational forces'.'

'Today, a downturn in 'social conscience' stocks on news that 'nice guys finish last'.'

"I can help you with stock downturns. I'm the blueprint of irrational exuberance."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

Trickledown economics

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

The Decline of the Euro.

Office of economic forecasting.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

Corporations will have to earn this tax cut one dollar at a time!

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

'We buy and sell them.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

Government Handouts.

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

Inflating assets to get a loan. Too poor to pay taxes

Investments: Still Open to New Investors - 'A fool & his money fund.'

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

'You'll be happy to know there's nothing wrong with you. That will be four thousand, three hundred and eighty two dollars.'

Protesting man's sign reveals that his credit has run out.

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'He's known for his pessimistic prognostications on the stock market.'