Global Economic Humorist Pillows

European Union Economic Crisis Conference. I can handle the long hours of these meetings. The piles of tables, charts and graphs don't bother me. I can even tolerate the contentious debates. But there's only one thing I can't take anymore ... I've never heard so many "What's a Grecian earn?" jokes in my life!

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Made in China

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'The recession is over, again.'

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"Might you explain to me how your division managed to spend twenty-six thousand dollars on tennis balls?"

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

Money Bar.

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

But under a different accounting convention ...

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

Money god

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'

'Wait a minute....!

The Euro - R.I.P.