Economic Humorists Pillows

'It's from my stockbroker - he'd like to join us.'

'I do find new-no-money so terribly vulgar!...'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

'This was bound to happen! Santa Claus is now asking for a bailout.'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

'Interest rates are down, so we'll only pull one more.'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"Bob once was an investment banker... but these days, we all have to make a living, right?"

'In this economy, money is the lure.'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"Might you explain to me how your division managed to spend twenty-six thousand dollars on tennis balls?"

Money Bar.

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

'This is our golden anniversary. Let's invest in gold.'

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

But under a different accounting convention ...

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'

The Euro - R.I.P.

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'