Comical Economist Pillows

'Before the smart money leaves the market, we need to get the dumb money into the market. Here's a list of un-savvy investors to call.'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

Trickledown economics

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

Office of economic forecasting.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

'We buy and sell them.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

Government Handouts.

'He's known for his pessimistic prognostications on the stock market.'

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

World Economic: Crisis/Crash/Collapse

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

Inflating assets to get a loan. Too poor to pay taxes

Investments: Still Open to New Investors - 'A fool & his money fund.'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

Thanks to his stocks, Bob now lives in the middle of a great green garden outside the crowded city.

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

'Sorry about the mess -- I've been slashing the Federal budget.'

Leprechaun finds EU bail out at the end of a rainbow.