Comedy Economist Pillows

'The dollar fell against all major currencies this morning, and then, while getting up, bumped its head, REALLY HARD, on some sort of coffee table. I'm afraid that's all we have right now. Stay tuned for further updates.'

Investments: Still Open to New Investors - 'A fool & his money fund.'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

Trickledown economics

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

Office of economic forecasting.

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'We buy and sell them.'

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

First Market Decline

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

'He's known for his pessimistic prognostications on the stock market.'

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

Government Handouts.

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

World Economic: Crisis/Crash/Collapse

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

Thanks to his stocks, Bob now lives in the middle of a great green garden outside the crowded city.

'Sorry about the mess -- I've been slashing the Federal budget.'

Sign - 'Warning: Government Spending Objectives Are Larger Than They Actually Appear.'

Bad case of credit crunch, I'm afraid, so we'll have to slowly introduce you to a diet of cash.

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.