Economics Humorist Gifts

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'Having one God, instead of many Gods, will save tons of money, just in sacrificial lambs alone!'

'Your call would have been important to us before we went out of business.'

'Think of it this way - we're job creators.'

'You're taking this far too literally.'

'I'm on a budget TOO, you know!'

Money doesn't grow on trees - Prehistoric economist 300 million years before evolving into my dad.

Supreme Gas

It was a peaceful summer evening, until suddenly...the Unemployer!

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

Money Bar.

"Might you explain to me how your division managed to spend twenty-six thousand dollars on tennis balls?"

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

But under a different accounting convention ...

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'

The Euro - R.I.P.

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

White Collar Crime.

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'