Humorists With A Flair For Economics Gifts

First Market Decline

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

'This is our golden anniversary. Let's invest in gold.'

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

Footing The Bill

Trickledown economics

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

Office of economic forecasting.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

It's the same ingredients and aftertaste as stimulus 1..."

'We buy and sell them.'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

Foreclosed

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

"We invested everything we had in our marriage."

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

Investments: Still Open to New Investors - 'A fool & his money fund.'

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

Government Handouts.

Thanks to his stocks, Bob now lives in the middle of a great green garden outside the crowded city.

'Sorry, I don't do bailouts.'