Rod Jesters Gifts

"You know very well what fish!"

"I hate performance review season."

Dog walking Human.

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Beer Order

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

'Don't hesitate to critize me, Herb, whenever I think I am wrong.'

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

'Point of clarification, sir. Are you still in charge, or have you ceded power to your sock puppet?'

'Look, Your Honor -- We're both over-fifty white males, right?'

"When you take the oath don't worry. There's a lightning rod on the roof."

'We, the jury, find the defendant guilty... and his attorney obnoxious.'

Jeff hated performance reviews.

'Where did this extra

'We're ready to order... ORDER!'

"Psst! If you have any stock tips to pass on, I can probably lighten your sentence for insider trading."

Rugby oldies

"Okay, we've donated to the Food Bank, Feed the Hungry, Food for Life, Hunger Helpers, Starving World, Second Helpings. . . is anyone else getting hungry?"

"Sir, Sparky is here for his 3:00 pm throw."

Conflicted Chief

"Your honor, I'd like to request a new defense attorney!"

"The jury will disregard the defendant's statement that he will donate 100% of his criminal earnings to the Concerned Mobsters for Eritrea Fund!"

'The prisons are overcrowded, so why don't you just drop and give me fifty push-ups?'

The walking dead

'The justice will be swift - the attorney fees, swifter.'

Where legal teams but their outfits.

"I'll have my people call your people."

'Your honor, we find the defendant not guilty, but we sure wouldn't let our daughters go out with him!'

'Our plea will be innocent by reason of insanity.'

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'