Rod Jesters Pillows

"You know very well what fish!"

"I hate performance review season."

Dog walking Human.

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Beer Order

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'Don't hesitate to critize me, Herb, whenever I think I am wrong.'

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

'Point of clarification, sir. Are you still in charge, or have you ceded power to your sock puppet?'

'We, the jury, find the defendant guilty... and his attorney obnoxious.'

"When you take the oath don't worry. There's a lightning rod on the roof."

'Look, Your Honor -- We're both over-fifty white males, right?'

'Where did this extra

Jeff hated performance reviews.

'We're ready to order... ORDER!'

"Psst! If you have any stock tips to pass on, I can probably lighten your sentence for insider trading."

Rugby oldies

"Okay, we've donated to the Food Bank, Feed the Hungry, Food for Life, Hunger Helpers, Starving World, Second Helpings. . . is anyone else getting hungry?"

The walking dead

"Your honor, I'd like to request a new defense attorney!"

"Sir, Sparky is here for his 3:00 pm throw."

'The prisons are overcrowded, so why don't you just drop and give me fifty push-ups?'

"The jury will disregard the defendant's statement that he will donate 100% of his criminal earnings to the Concerned Mobsters for Eritrea Fund!"

'The justice will be swift - the attorney fees, swifter.'

'Our plea will be innocent by reason of insanity.'

'Your honor, we find the defendant not guilty, but we sure wouldn't let our daughters go out with him!'

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

"The business of crime DOES pay. It pays our salaries!"

'I ran with them once.'