Pundit Jesters Pillows

Requiem for Progressives

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Beer Order

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

'Don't hesitate to critize me, Herb, whenever I think I am wrong.'

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

"You know very well what fish!"

"I'd like an application form for the position of minister, please!"

"'Article I. Section 9. Claus B. No title of nobility shall be granted by the United States' - we gotta change that."

'My client asserts that walking on land was his idea and he therefore claims 50% of all subsequent profits.'

'Look, Your Honor -- We're both over-fifty white males, right?'

"When you take the oath don't worry. There's a lightning rod on the roof."

'We, the jury, find the defendant guilty... and his attorney obnoxious.'

'Honey, do you want to watch Dancing With the Stars, or the news showing Congress dancing all around the tough issues?'

Pumping up wig in blender.

'We're ready to order... ORDER!'

'He said his first buzz word today!'

"Psst! If you have any stock tips to pass on, I can probably lighten your sentence for insider trading."

Rugby oldies

"Okay, we've donated to the Food Bank, Feed the Hungry, Food for Life, Hunger Helpers, Starving World, Second Helpings. . . is anyone else getting hungry?"

"Your honor, I'd like to request a new defense attorney!"

'The prisons are overcrowded, so why don't you just drop and give me fifty push-ups?'

Oval Office

Donald Trump's Flying Circus

Tercentary of Shakespeare's Birth

Conflicted Chief

"The jury will disregard the defendant's statement that he will donate 100% of his criminal earnings to the Concerned Mobsters for Eritrea Fund!"

'I've just had a terrible nightmare that we were living sensibly, within our budget!'

'The justice will be swift - the attorney fees, swifter.'

'Your honor, we find the defendant not guilty, but we sure wouldn't let our daughters go out with him!'

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Chris Matthews'

'Our plea will be innocent by reason of insanity.'

Uber Files

Where legal teams but their outfits.