Junior Jesters Gifts

'Why can't she just call it the final exam like other teachers?'

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"The trees are laughing at us."

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

Clown Wedding with Rake

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'Rex here, is just like one of the family.'

Pie chart of pub conversations

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

You know what I like about our meetings? There's always more finger pulling than pointing.

'We, the jury, find the defendant guilty... and his attorney obnoxious.'

'Look, Your Honor -- We're both over-fifty white males, right?'

"When you take the oath don't worry. There's a lightning rod on the roof."

"And now for the 'piece de resistance!'"

'We're ready to order... ORDER!'

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

"Psst! If you have any stock tips to pass on, I can probably lighten your sentence for insider trading."

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

"Your honor, I'd like to request a new defense attorney!"

"That's the secret to a happy marriage. We both love the same things."

'The prisons are overcrowded, so why don't you just drop and give me fifty push-ups?'

"The jury will disregard the defendant's statement that he will donate 100% of his criminal earnings to the Concerned Mobsters for Eritrea Fund!"

Hole drilled in floor. 'That's fixed that.'

'The justice will be swift - the attorney fees, swifter.'