Junior Jester Gifts

'Michael, use your words. What do you say when someone takes your truck?'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"The trees are laughing at us."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"#notguilty."

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

Clown Wedding with Rake

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'He started it!'