City Jesters Gifts

"Paul is a saint, Minneapolis, no way!!"

"I hate performance review season."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

Pumping up wig in blender.

Jeff hated performance reviews.

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

'Sorry, kids, I forgot we live in Michigan.'

"Sir, Sparky is here for his 3:00 pm throw."

'It certainly is a big one!'

'I ran with them once.'

'How do you like this one?...Inflatable dart board.'

Looking for a cool cat.

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

"I'll have my people call your people."

Work/Life Balance.

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

Dried Herbs

Don't be such a poor loser. You knew this would happen when you lost the Flopsies account !

£150,000 Per Annum - Daydreaming again, Foster?

Bus Stop - 49 Bus Reputed Sightings.

'What is he fishing for?'

Soothing music whilst waiting for phone line - for Vivaldi press 1.....

Can we use the buddy system and just keep five commandments each?

"What about drug benefits, man?"

Acme Toupee Co. - Pile of toupees in corner, hawk on perch by open window - chart showing sales up. - The hawk is stealing toupees off people's heads, driving sales up.