Royalty Jesters Gifts

Richard the Turd

"I hate performance review season."

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

Pie chart of pub conversations

'I take it his performance review went well.'

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

Cave lady about cave boy with big rolling stone: 'Here comes Junior with his report card.'

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

"Maybe this will make you less of a jerk!"

Pumping up wig in blender.

"Good news, your majesty. We may already be a winner."

Jeff hated performance reviews.

'Any chance of a bit of....er...Blue on Blue?'

'He's so behind the times - his Hot Line is rotary!'

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

Jump! Jump! How high? He just doesn't get it, does he?

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

"Sir, Sparky is here for his 3:00 pm throw."

'It certainly is a big one!'

'How do you like this one?...Inflatable dart board.'

Vendor is the knight: knight sells hotdogs.

"I'll have my people call your people."

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

Looking for a cool cat.