Royalty Jesters Gifts

Richard the Turd

"I hate performance review season."

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

Pie chart of pub conversations

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

Cave lady about cave boy with big rolling stone: 'Here comes Junior with his report card.'

'I take it his performance review went well.'

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

Pumping up wig in blender.

"Maybe this will make you less of a jerk!"

"Good news, your majesty. We may already be a winner."

Jeff hated performance reviews.

'Any chance of a bit of....er...Blue on Blue?'

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

'He's so behind the times - his Hot Line is rotary!'

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

"Sir, Sparky is here for his 3:00 pm throw."

'It certainly is a big one!'

'How do you like this one?...Inflatable dart board.'

"I'll have my people call your people."

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

'I ran with them once.'

Vendor is the knight: knight sells hotdogs.

Looking for a cool cat.