Royal Court Jesters Gifts

'Oh, it's all right with me -- as long as I get EQUAL divine rights!'

'He's so behind the times - his Hot Line is rotary!'

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

COWS: Cow Pong

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

Richard the Turd

Medieval headlines.

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

I hate these he shed, she shed cases.

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

'Yes, it's a foul. But is it a flagrant foul?'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'I take it his performance review went well.'

The afternoons are okay, it's at night that I can't sleep.

'Your Honor, permission to abandon the strict, upstanding, fiduciary responsibilities of my profession for a chance at fleeting personal, carnal gratification?'

Hi. I'm Jonathan. I'll be your judge this afternoon. Legal Menu.

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

"Good news, your majesty. We may already be a winner."

"Maybe this will make you less of a jerk!"

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

Jump! Jump! How high? He just doesn't get it, does he?

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

Just what were you doing in Georgia anyways Hmmm Isn't it true that you were lookin' for a soul to steal Your confession states that you were in a bind cause you were way behind, Care to elaborate, Mr, Seacrest I mean, Lucifer,,

"We specialize in pretrial publicity."

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

'It certainly is a big one!'

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that what you don't know won't hurt you.'