Royal Court Jester Gifts

"I thought he was about to be knighted, too, didn't you?"

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"Sire, have you been drunk-twittering again?"

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'How about a game of cards?'

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"I say we move on to dessert."

A baby in court

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

Basketball.

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"Another slander suit!"

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

Justice 4 Ron

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'