Celestial Court Jester Gifts

Tennis Payer - Heaven and Hell/Rough or Smooth

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

TV jester.

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"I say we move on to dessert."

Basketball.

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"Another slander suit!"

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

Justice 4 Ron

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

'Yeah? -- Well, there's a thin line between being a strict constructionist and being a stupid jerk!'

"I'm working as fast as I can, Mr. Sims. There are only so many billable hours in a day, you know."

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

"Thank you, Nathaniel. I think you, too, are a very scary young lawyer."

Two lawyers in a royal court

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'