Royal Court Jesters Pillows

'Oh, it's all right with me -- as long as I get EQUAL divine rights!'

'He's so behind the times - his Hot Line is rotary!'

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

COWS: Cow Pong

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

Medieval headlines.

Richard the Turd

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

'I take it his performance review went well.'

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

'Yes, it's a foul. But is it a flagrant foul?'

The afternoons are okay, it's at night that I can't sleep.

'Your Honor, permission to abandon the strict, upstanding, fiduciary responsibilities of my profession for a chance at fleeting personal, carnal gratification?'

"Good news, your majesty. We may already be a winner."

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

"Maybe this will make you less of a jerk!"

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

"We specialize in pretrial publicity."

Just what were you doing in Georgia anyways Hmmm Isn't it true that you were lookin' for a soul to steal Your confession states that you were in a bind cause you were way behind, Care to elaborate, Mr, Seacrest I mean, Lucifer,,

'It certainly is a big one!'

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that what you don't know won't hurt you.'

'Granted, Your Honor, he may look like a criminal.'

'It's exciting and you make a lot of money, but if you don't win, they flush you down the toilet. Welcome to the pros, kid.'