Royal Jester Pillows

I deem thee sir...oops!

"Good news, your majesty. We may already be a winner."

"Maybe this will make you less of a jerk!"

And while all my horses and men were busy with this broken egg, the peasants overthrew me!

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

Jump, then wait. Only when she asks may you grab the Queen by the ankles.

'You want me to buy you a comic, son Which one, Ken Dodd, Jimmy Carr, Les Dennis...?'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

"The trees are laughing at us."

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

Clown Wedding with Rake

Richard the Turd

'With this ring I thee dropped it -'

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

'Wait while I slip on something more comfortable.'

'Rex here, is just like one of the family.'

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"They're a perfect match – she's high-maintenance, and he can fix anything."

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

Excommunicate Me.

"Is there anyone else in your life I should know about?"

You know what I like about our meetings? There's always more finger pulling than pointing.

Monks play conkers with crucifix

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

"Will you manage my portfolio?"

Boyfriend scores notches on wall by bed.

'Make sport of the Queen.'