Royal Jesters Pillows

"Damn!"

'Frankly, Yorick's big comedy comeback tour's a disappointment.'

What's Lady Godiva's name doing on the visitor's log thirty-seven times?

'Do you have an appointment?'

Jump! Jump! How high? He just doesn't get it, does he?

"...Then he says 'You should see the other guy'!"

'Well, I hope you're satisfied -- I had Lady Godiva arrested, and Parliament impeached me!'

'You know your team of expert lawyers? -- they defected.'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

Richard the Turd

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

Pie chart of pub conversations

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

'I take it his performance review went well.'

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

"Maybe this will make you less of a jerk!"

"Good news, your majesty. We may already be a winner."

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

Pumping up wig in blender.

'He's so behind the times - his Hot Line is rotary!'

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

'It certainly is a big one!'

'Management is upgrading all the hardware.'

Looking for a cool cat.

'You and your 'Hey, don't worry, the King is going to love this April Fool's joke'...'

'Yes, they do contain e-numbers - But they're e-numbers that make you feel amorous!'

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"

Look, Mom! He dropped this! He must be just like me, always coming home with just one mitten!

"I thought he was about to be knighted, too, didn't you?"

Plato seeking platonic love on Tinder.