Romantic Jesters Pillows

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

'Do you always dress like this on the first date?'

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"

"You don't being me flowers any more."

"This personal lubricant has an expiration date of 2025 - just saying."

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

'Come here immediately and explain why you sent me only one Valentine's card!'

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

'I just wanted you to know how I really feel about you.'

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

Plato seeking platonic love on Tinder.

'Yes, they do contain e-numbers - But they're e-numbers that make you feel amorous!'

'I'm sorry, Dorothy. I've decided to marry your sister.'

'I'm not complaining, but the last time you took me out to dinner, Colonel Sanders was a brunette!'

'They're lovely, but I want you to know I never say yes on first negotiations.'

"I'm sorry...did I forget to mention? I must be honest with you. I have a condition. My doctor says I may need a full time nurse. But otherwise, I'm in perfect health!""

Genial youth talking to his sister's fiancée

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

Richard the Turd

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"I must come to the supermarket with you sometime dear, they seem to sell everything!"

"They're a perfect match – she's high-maintenance, and he can fix anything."

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

'Wait while I slip on something more comfortable.'

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

'I'm sorry, Ralph, but you're going to have to move out - Prissy's allergy to your dandruff is getting worse.'

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

"Will you manage my portfolio?"

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

"Is there anyone else in your life I should know about?"

'He's sending 2,400 roses to win her back, and charging it to her credit card.'