Angelic Jesters Pillows

'Management is upgrading all the hardware.'

'Actually, my wife wouldn't LET me have any last words.'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

"No one has actually ever tried it before...so apparently you CAN take it with you!"

"But Wendy could serve the Lord. She'll keep the cats out."

Notice on back of bishop's gown - How's My Droving.

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

Devil Puppeteer

"Wait, there you are. I was spelling it wrong."

'Yes, they do contain e-numbers - But they're e-numbers that make you feel amorous!'

Angel Puppet.

"I wonder what kind of welcome we'll get on this planet?"

'Did he leave an actual horoscope that I could read?'

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"

"You've been unfriended."

'I'm not complaining, but the last time you took me out to dinner, Colonel Sanders was a brunette!'

"Not the God I expected."

'Make sure he gets plenty of fruit.'

'You know the saying 'He who dies with the most toys wins?' Well, THIS is what you win!'

Madam Zelta foresees all.

"I'm sorry...did I forget to mention? I must be honest with you. I have a condition. My doctor says I may need a full time nurse. But otherwise, I'm in perfect health!""

"My obit."

"This personal lubricant has an expiration date of 2025 - just saying."

'Uh-oh, here comes my wife. Just act natural.'

'Do you always dress like this on the first date?'