Spiritual Jesters Pillows

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

'I take it his performance review went well.'

Monks play conkers with crucifix

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

Pumping up wig in blender.

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

"No one has actually ever tried it before...so apparently you CAN take it with you!"

Third eye

"I know it's a really big church, but Goliath was the bad one."

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

"But Wendy could serve the Lord. She'll keep the cats out."

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

'Management is upgrading all the hardware.'

Almost Your Time.

A blessing in disguise.

How Clowns Find Their Inner Peace.

'Well, if you need me to put it into 'layman's terms' maybe you should be talking to someone with a lower IQ.'

'...But in case God misses something...'

"I wonder what kind of welcome we'll get on this planet?"

'Did he leave an actual horoscope that I could read?'

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"

'Yes, they do contain e-numbers - But they're e-numbers that make you feel amorous!'

'I'm not complaining, but the last time you took me out to dinner, Colonel Sanders was a brunette!'

'Make sure he gets plenty of fruit.'

"We ran out of bread, so its croutons for communion."

Plato seeking platonic love on Tinder.

"Attendance is way up since they substituted fortune cookies for those funny little wafers."

"Not the God I expected."