Angelic Jokesters Pillows

'Could we make this quick, I've had a rough day.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Clown God

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

'The company was quite generous. They gave me a whole day off for the funeral.'

An amplified harp

Lesbians for Christ

"You think it's tough down there?"

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"I haven't changed my facebook status."

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

"So much for eternal rest."

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

Third eye

"29 degrees in Scorpio? What's that in Fahrenheit?"

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

Late Night TV

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

"Let's work on opening up that fourth chakra."

Priest reads sign above fire extinguisher that says: 'In case of quenchable fire, break glass'.