Heavenly Jokester Pillows

"I haven't changed my facebook status."

"Apparently you should have kept your Facebook private."

"We only got six days of funding."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

The Adventures of God

"All we have left is standing room only."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Clown God

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"Actually, I think you looked better WITH a beard."

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

Michael Jackson - Mission fulfilled.

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

Halo Frisbee.