Angelic Humorist Pillows

'I led a long and happy life. Twenty business cycles.'

"I guess this is as good as it gets."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'I can't believe I locked my keys inside, again!'

'They may have a lot of problems but they've got some wonderful marketing people.'

"I'm from L.A.!"

'The Joy Of Sending People To Hell'.

"The last thing I said was 'These brownies are to die for'."

Heaven - emergency exit.

'Isn't purple supposed to go on top?'

"Then my wife said it wouldn't kill me to go to the ballet with her."

Jerome Gurkenman, top representative to the end... and beyond.

Dirt Angel

'Life really was short, I should have eaten more chocolate.'

'Doctor Norton was your doctor too?'

'Pig flu??!'

'Are you going to keep that silly mustache for all eternity?'

'Don't give me that, it's quite obvious your dog was on my cloud!'

"We're spending August with his parents in Hell."

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

"I died of old age, an eighty year old in an invalid scooter knocked me over."

"I always thought it was just a figure of speech when people said their phone had died."

"Recalculating."

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."

An amplified harp

"They finally got around to reviewing his browsing history..."

"I guess they really are permanent."

'Well... At least we finally know where all those missing socks from the dryer went.'

"Hon, what's an allegory?"

"So much for eternal rest."

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

First you'll sit, then you'll shake, then you'll roll over

"Why didn't I always wear a dress?"

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."