Noble Jesters Pillows

'Thank you sir. His grace is in the library lighting farts.'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Richard the Turd

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

Pumping up wig in blender.

"No one has actually ever tried it before...so apparently you CAN take it with you!"

Jump! Jump! How high? He just doesn't get it, does he?

"I know it's a really big church, but Goliath was the bad one."

Notice on back of bishop's gown - How's My Droving.

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

'Management is upgrading all the hardware.'

"He damaged a nerve when he pulled the thorn out. I'd have had a surefire malpractice suit if I hadn't eaten him."

Looking for a cool cat.

'...But in case God misses something...'

The end of the world is at hand: '10... 9... 8... 7...'

'Frankly, Yorick's big comedy comeback tour's a disappointment.'

Look, Mom! He dropped this! He must be just like me, always coming home with just one mitten!

'Make sure he gets plenty of fruit.'

"Not the God I expected."

Banana Arcade Game

'Cheetah?... Boy?...Simba?... Jane?....'

Castaway can't remembers how to write S.O.S.

'Do you have an appointment?'

'Actually, my wife wouldn't LET me have any last words.'

"Run for your lives! The sea level is rising at the rate of about 1 foot per century!"

'It sounds like the Zulu Standup Comic tribe is restless tonight! I hear rimshots!'

'What is he fishing for?'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

"Your 'Low On Ink' light is lit."

'I told you we should have read the fine print when the accountant said we'd be getting 10,000 bucks a month in our retirement.'