Elemental Jester Gifts

A sink with one faucet is labeled 'H2' and the other labeled '0'.

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

Hardware and software

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

Monks play conkers with crucifix

'Periodic table and avoirdupois weight of the Mendeleev family'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

If this plutonium should start to roam,box it's ears and sent it home.

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

"The Real Reason For Global Warming."

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news … Weeks ago, the Hubble telescope spotted a rogue planet the size of Venus plummeting through the solar system on a collision course with earth. It turns out it was actually just a prank involving two very bored ISS astronauts and a grapefruit. Breaking News!!!!! Maybe we should send them to Mars after all. One of them seems to have scrawled "Around and around and around and around" all over his space suit, in crayon.

Never poke fun.

'Houston, you're not going to believe this...'

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

The Ekert Saga: '...Oh...did I fahget to mention it happened behfah, physicists call it the big bang..'

"Last dunk and then we need to do work."