Elemental Jester Gifts

A sink with one faucet is labeled 'H2' and the other labeled '0'.

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

Hardware and software

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

Monks play conkers with crucifix

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'Periodic table and avoirdupois weight of the Mendeleev family'

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

If this plutonium should start to roam,box it's ears and sent it home.

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'Houston, you're not going to believe this...'

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

Never poke fun.

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

"The Real Reason For Global Warming."

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

'Do something else - I don't like irony.'

"Work's been really hard."

"Wow, I've never met an astronomer before."