Jewel Jester Gifts

"Genuine? Of course it's genuine...zirconia."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

"The trees are laughing at us."

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

"Wheeeeeeee!"

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Tennis ball girl.

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Crow and fox

'With this ring I thee dropped it -'

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

Clown Wedding with Rake

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

'That'll be all the mince pies and sherry!'

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

'Rex here, is just like one of the family.'

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

You know what I like about our meetings? There's always more finger pulling than pointing.

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

'The mysteries of hyena laughter deciphered.'

Monks play conkers with crucifix

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

"Frankly, I don't really want him to improve: he scares the predators away..."

'That was SO worth it!' - Christmas Tree Toppled