Javelin Jester Gifts

"I hate the Olympics, especially the Javelin."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

Women in a cross country race

"The trees are laughing at us."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"#notguilty."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

"Wheeeeeeee!"

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Tennis ball girl.

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

Crow and fox

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Clown Wedding with Rake

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'He started it!'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"