Javelin Joker Gifts

'I'm taking you off the javelin - you throw it way too high!'

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Joust Sharpener

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

Jogging Bottoms

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

Santa's Helpers

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

Ecotourism.

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

Unicyclist painting a ceiling.

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

'George, stop playing with the children.'

Bicycle Sidecar.

Complaints Desk

'How do I know if you've been naughty or nice? CCTV!!'

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

Very drunk professional cyclist

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

Adult Absence Notes.

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

Color-Rectal Exams for Baboons...

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

'Run around with sharp objects and you'll poke an eye out!'

False encouragement.