Java Jester Gifts

'This decaf's lousy.'

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"This coffee's awful. How old is it?"

"I came, I saw, I caffeinated."

COFFEE, decaf, mild, reg. bold, woah!

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'He started it!'

Justice