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"Bad news, there's a new app that helps people spell their own names wrong."

One medium coffee. Coming up. That'll be $9. For a coffee? It's a bargain. If you were to take an airline flight, they'd charge you $1 for the coffee and $250 for the ticket. So. I'd be flying somewhere! You're madman. I will not lose your luggage.

'This decaf's lousy.'

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"This coffee's awful. How old is it?"

"I came, I saw, I caffeinated."

COFFEE, decaf, mild, reg. bold, woah!

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"#notguilty."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'