Yuletide Jester Gifts

'Santa says, 'are you sure you inserted the batteries correctly'?'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

Drunk Barber

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

"I hate open-mike night."

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

'That'll be all the mince pies and sherry!'

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

'I hate it when he's in one of his silly festive moods.'

Monks play conkers with crucifix

'That was SO worth it!' - Christmas Tree Toppled

Dec. 26

NSA is coming to town.

Show Jumping Tantrums

North Pole.

"I hate waiting! I know! I'll set this clock back an hour, and then in an hour...I'll move it forward, and 60 minutes will go by in a flash! Of course, we'll have to do this 176 more times."

'I'm not saying that global warming is a reality...'

"I slept funny!"

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

"He said, 'Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' I thought that meant steer."

U.S Airspace missile detection meets Santa

"Mum, I think Grandad's run out of batteries."

"You'll notice it's the same list as last year. Let's try a little harder this time."

The ghost of christmas regifting

Another wedding

Who am I kidding?