Elemental Joker Gifts

'Periodic table and avoirdupois weight of the Mendeleev family'

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

'You know too much,'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

Good News about winter

Fish hunting for men.

Candid Camera store.

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Caution May Contain Nuts.

Shoes Make The Man

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

While You Were Out: We Moved!

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

Finally there is the right product for real men!"

"I keep having these funny moods, doctor."

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

Sharks hate practical jokes.

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

"Uh-oh. We better stop using the fax machine."

"Well, you said your glasses needed cleaning!"

'I tell them it's for a patient in the next room and they don't complain about their shot.'

'You're not being fired Jenkins. It's just that all our colleagues have booted you out of the company.'

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

"Okay, haha, very funny, you guys. Now toss down the ladder."