Spiritual Joker Gifts

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

"My religion was more fun."

'By 'fasting,' do you mean he's only eating fast foods?'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'But if this 'No-working-on-the-Sabbath' goes through, where does that leave us?'

Eucharist

'Pssst! Interested in some deviled eggs?'

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

'Are you SURE that you didn't say a little prayer before you had your turn?'

'The vicar's sermon is running late again!'

"I can't tell from this far away, but he's either enlightened or dead."

'Get right back down there and wipe those feet!'

First Church: Today's Sermon - Sinners Looking At Their Smartphones Instead of Listening To The Sermon Will Go Straight To Hell.

Saint Joseph and his aspirin

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'You know too much,'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

Good News about winter

Fish hunting for men.

Candid Camera store.

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Shoes Make The Man

Caution May Contain Nuts.