Spiritual Jokers Gifts

The wages of sin is death! 'Boy, sinners must have a TERRIBLE union!'

Almost Your Time.

"Watch with brother"

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

Clown God

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

Ten Commandments

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

Lesbians for Christ

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'Golly, is it that time already?'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Eucharist

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

"The time has come to reflect and ask ourselves... 'what would Jesus tweet?'"

Artist Painting his Television.

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

'That's what I said,dear-your dinner's in the chippie..'

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

To save space, we eliminated hallways and doors, by adding catwalk and ladders.

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen

"It started as an out-of body experience but I forgot the password to get back in."

Third eye

The Gardener's Calendar: If your fish pool is covered with ice...make a hole in it.

"But Wendy could serve the Lord. She'll keep the cats out."

Watch for Men Being Supid

How to avoid a heart attack.