Spiritual Jokers Gifts

The wages of sin is death! 'Boy, sinners must have a TERRIBLE union!'

Almost Your Time.

"Watch with brother"

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

Clown God

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

Ten Commandments

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

Lesbians for Christ

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

Om and Ommer

'Golly, is it that time already?'

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

Eucharist

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

"The time has come to reflect and ask ourselves... 'what would Jesus tweet?'"

Artist Painting his Television.

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

'That's what I said,dear-your dinner's in the chippie..'

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

To save space, we eliminated hallways and doors, by adding catwalk and ladders.

"It started as an out-of body experience but I forgot the password to get back in."

Third eye

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen