Divine Jokesters Gifts

'No, anything not specifically prohibited is NOT necessarily okay!'

Lesbians for Christ

"I was very relieved. I expected to spend eternity on hold."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

Clown God

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'Read that last part back to me.'

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

"You think it's tough down there?"

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

'Have you got anything for omnipotence?'

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'

Excommunicate Me.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe the multiple exclamation points come across as over excited and insincere."

Out for lunch... GOD

'What, not even a kiss first?'