Biblical Jokesters Gifts

"No! It's lo! (as in behold) - not lol Laughing Out Loud!"

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Moses separating his Laundry.

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Well, we needed the rain."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

The Older Testament: An Origin Story

"It's got 128 KB of Ram, 64 KB or Rom, and a spell checker for when you invent writing."

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

"I really don't care what yours says. My weather app says rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I think you should probably go with that, Noah."

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

"No offense, but the manna needs salt."

Garden of Eden and scrumping