Gospel Jokester Gifts

Priest reads sign above fire extinguisher that says: 'In case of quenchable fire, break glass'.

Clown God

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

"You think it's tough down there?"

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

Excommunicate Me.

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

'Classical music, huh?...You mean like Elvis?'

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

"I haven't changed my facebook status."

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

'While my guitar gently creeks.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

"I'm very highly strung!"

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

Third eye

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

It's a Four Seasons sleeping bag.

"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

"Let's work on opening up that fourth chakra."

Serpent Instrument player

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

A blessing in disguise.

The woodwind section

'We got Ethan this accordion to make some extra money. People pay him not to play it.'

"Wait, there you are. I was spelling it wrong."

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

"Wisdom is growing your hair long so the hairs growing in your ears don't show

'Well, she ate the apple -- I SAID you should have the whole thing catered.'