Gospel Jokester Gifts

Priest reads sign above fire extinguisher that says: 'In case of quenchable fire, break glass'.

Clown God

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

"You think it's tough down there?"

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

Excommunicate Me.

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

"I haven't changed my facebook status."

"I'm very highly strung!"

'While my guitar gently creeks.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

Third eye

It's a Four Seasons sleeping bag.

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

"Let's work on opening up that fourth chakra."

Serpent Instrument player

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

"I was rather hoping you'd tell me to beget!"

"Wait, there you are. I was spelling it wrong."

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

"Wisdom is growing your hair long so the hairs growing in your ears don't show

'Well, she ate the apple -- I SAID you should have the whole thing catered.'

The woodwind section

A blessing in disguise.

'We got Ethan this accordion to make some extra money. People pay him not to play it.'