Jewish Jokester Gifts

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Men dancing

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

"You think it's tough down there?"

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

'Tender and Juicy.'

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

Gang of Musicians

'To err is human. To really mess up, we've got to do some planning.'

"Let's work on opening up that fourth chakra."

'Well if sixty is the new fifty and forty is the new thirty then yes,twenty must be the new ten...'

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

Priest reads sign above fire extinguisher that says: 'In case of quenchable fire, break glass'.

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

I laughed so hard that milk came out my nose.

"Wisdom is growing your hair long so the hairs growing in your ears don't show

'How can you tell?'

"And a parsley in a pear treeeee."

"According to scripture, Jesus can see you sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you're bad or good. So be... Oops... Never mind... I was thinking of a different deity."

'Good morning, 'DICTIONARIES' department for, like, Similes.'

"An olive or a twist?"

Summer Reading

STRIP Hambone: Techinical support in layman's terms #2

This Sleigh Carries No Recalled Chinese Toys.