Jazz Jokester Gifts

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Fleas Navidad.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

"Merry Christmas"

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

Men dancing

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

"Maybe this year..."

Elf of the Month

'Classical music, huh?...You mean like Elvis?'

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

Cleaning the Horse

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'Your dad only works one day a week but mine only works ONE day a year!'

C is for Cracker

"I'm very highly strung!"

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

'While my guitar gently creeks.'

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.