Jazz Jokester Pillows

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

"Merry Christmas"

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Men dancing

Elf of the Month

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

"Maybe this year..."

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

Cleaning the Horse

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'Your dad only works one day a week but mine only works ONE day a year!'

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

C is for Cracker

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

"I'm very highly strung!"

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'While my guitar gently creeks.'

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'