Jolly Jokester Gifts

A man seeking truth encounters a clown.

'I understand that you only use your vehicle once a year, Mr. Claus, but you drive over a million miles that night. That's why your premium is so high.'

"It all started with the odd mince pie and glass of sherry."

Santa Party Time

"So, do you think watching strangers and judging them while sleep is healthy?"

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

'Okay, cough.'

'Okay, the outfit COULD have shrunk since last year, but not the belt!'

"How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly?"

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

Easter Island heads bunny ears.

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

Oh no, another fishing line booby trap...

'The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!'

'You have mistle-TOE.'

Parp!

"Where to buddy...?" "Everywhere, and step on it!!"

'I warned you not to keep on calling him 'Fatty Christmas'!'

'Cap hair.'

"You will kindly address any 'naughty or nice' questions to my attorney."

'Drone Santa.'

C is for Cracker

Alex Salmond

Drunk Santa

"Please stop telling me 'tis the season to be jolly."

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

"I've never seen so many instances of breaking and entering in one night!"

"Maybe this year..."

"I got him in the sales

Christmas proves. . . clothes make the man.

Elf of the Month

"I'm beginning to doubt my own Santaty..."

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

"Merry Christmas"