Music Jokester Gifts

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

I can't believe you bought an air guitar on eBay! (Published originally on December 18, 2007.)

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

Classical Customer Information - "How long is a piece of string quartet?"

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

'Classical music, huh?...You mean like Elvis?'

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

Athen's Theater. "Oedipus Rex" didn't test well as a title, Sophocles. How would you feel about calling it "My Big Fat Greek Tragedy"?

'While my guitar gently creeks.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

"I'm very highly strung!"

Gang of Musicians

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

You know, I'll always think of the song that's on the Juke box right now as

It's a Four Seasons sleeping bag.

No Hand Signals

Mozart's symphonies often had several movements.

'Tender and Juicy.'

Early music

"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

'Pluck me.'

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

Serpent Instrument player

"An olive or a twist?"

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

'We got Ethan this accordion to make some extra money. People pay him not to play it.'

'Good morning, 'DICTIONARIES' department for, like, Similes.'